Kleptomania
by Luna Darkside
Summary: Some people express their love by buying flowers or chocolate. Kaito expresses his love by stealing Shinichi's suit on the day of his job interview. /ShinKai, oneshot, complete - Happy birthday, Kaito!/


**Pairing(s): **_Shinichi x Kaito (reversible), Hakuba x Aoko, Ran x Unmentioned Other Person_

**Warnings: **_shounen-ai, grammar mistakes / errors, general sappiness, etc._

**Notes: **_Happy birthday, Kaito! I'm still dealing with some writer's block (it returned nooooo) so this isn't as good or as long as I'd like Kaito's birthday fic to be, but... _

_I don't know why, but I absolutely adore insecure!Kaito and insecure!Shinichi. They're just so adorable to me._

_This is pretty terrible, but I wanted to write something short and lighthearted that was still somewhat interesting. Not sure I succeeded, but oh well._

_Well, hope you enjoy! – Luna_

**Kleptomania**

Shinichi was having a bit of a crisis.

Frowning, he shoved through the growing pile of clothes on the bed, pushing aside a lime green I Heart Kid t-shirt that had inexplicably (well, as "inexplicably" as possible with the Kaitou Kid as his lover) showed up in his closet a few weeks ago as well as a white suit jacket that looked suspiciously like a certain man's night uniform. Where _was _it?

"Kaito?" Shinichi yelled, giving up once he discovered a pair of clover-print pants that most definitely did not belong to him. He almost sighed – honestly, how had Kaito managed to encroach this far upon his closet? – running a hand exasperatedly through his hair.

There was the sound of clattering somewhere in the general direction of the kitchen. Shinichi briefly wondered what Kaito was doing in the kitchen. "Yes?"

Exhaling, the detective turned towards the door. "Could you come here for a second?"

Footsteps clanked towards him, and Kaito poked his head through the doorway. As always, Shinichi's heart stammered in his chest for a second (Shinichi was pretty sure that wasn't healthy, to be honest, but Kaito was _more_ than worth any future heart diseases) at the sight of Kaito and his crystalline indigo eyes and tousled chestnut hair and that permanent curve of his lips and _damn_ he was beautiful –

_Not the time, thanks_, Shinichi reminded himself. He cleared his throat out loud. "Have you seen my suit, by any chance?"

Kaito took a step forward, leaning against the wall with a grace that Shinichi marveled at. "Which one?" He watched Shinichi innocuously, his eyes wide and innocent.

Shinichi's eyebrow crept upwards. "The black one. The only suit I own," he replied, guarded, because whenever Kaito asked a question with a painfully obvious answer, it was a Very, Very Bad Sign.

(And yes, the capital letters were completely warranted, considering how Shinichi's discovery of the incident he had christened the Almost-Poisoning of the Aquarium had started out the exact same way. They'd been banned from the Haidou Aquarium for life, much to Shinichi's chagrin.)

"Oh, I don't know," Kaito nearly sang, his tone so breezy that the hairs on the back of Shinichi's neck rose in horror. "Have you looked in the closet?"

Ungluing his suddenly dry lips, Shinichi nodded. He motioned at the lump of clothes on the bed. "This is the contents of the closet. And actually, we need to have a conversation about boundaries when it comes to what percentage of my closet is actually yours. I'm pretty sure over half of this stuff is yours."

Blinking, Kaito stared at the bed, tilting his head pensively. "I don't know about _that_, Shinichi…"

Wordlessly, Shinichi pulled out a pair of socks with Kid symbols emblazoned over them. He raised his eyebrows.

"…Okay, well, maybe we _should_ have that conversation."

With a resigned sigh, Shinichi set down the socks on the top of the mountain. His eyes bore into Kaito's. "We should. Maybe later, though. Right now I would just really like to know where my suit is, considering that I have a job interview in an hour at police headquarters." He narrowed his eyes at Kaito. "Maybe you could help me with that?"

"What makes you think _I _know where it is?" Kaito blinked innocent puppy dog eyes at him.

Shinichi tried to stop himself from melting at the sight and succeeded to some extent (but only some; he was pretty sure the soles of his feet were long gone). "I don't know, maybe the fact that you're the only one who ever goes near my closet?"

Kaito shrugged lackadaisically. "I don't even understand why you _need _to dress nice. The entire police headquarters knows who you are. Why do you need to be interviewed for your 'special consultant' position, anyway?"

Feeling the beginnings of a headache starting to tighten his sinuses, Shinichi pressed a hand to his eyelids. "Because they need to be formal about this despite my relationship with them, and you're dodging the question. Where's my suit, Kaito?"

For a full minute, Kaito didn't say anything. Finding the silence incredibly unnerving, Shinichi dropped his fingers from his eyes and stared at him. "What's wrong?"

There was something unexpectedly melancholic when Kaito lifted his gaze to meet Shinichi's, something a little cold and lonely. "I…" He cleared his throat, the sound strangely ragged. "Do you remember the last time you wore that suit?"

"Uh…" Shinichi blinked in confusion at the sudden question, but thought about it anyway. He wrinkled his brow. "I guess it was at… Nakamori-san and Hakuba-kun's engagement party?" It had been a black-tie event, and Shinichi had been forced to get a new suit for it.

"Right." Kaito suddenly looked uncomfortable, biting his bottom lip with uncharacteristic hesitation, and Shinichi wanted so much to wrap him in his arms and make him forget it all, but he needed to know what was going on. "And you wore the suit, and you – looked really…" He paused, sucking in a breath before continuing. "Really good."

That… had not gone where Shinichi had been expecting.

Now bewildered, Shinichi slanted his head at Kaito. "Um, I don't really get what you're trying to say. I mean, thanks, but…?"

"You looked really, really good," Kaito reiterated, his eyes searching Shinichi's. "And people _noticed_, Shinichi."

It took approximately three more seconds for Shinichi to realize what Kaito was implying. "Wait, you mean – people were… looking at me?"

"Checking you out," corrected Kaito with a bit more bite than expected in his voice. His eyes flashed dangerously for a heartstopping second.

"Well, that's just…" Shinichi was at a loss. How exactly was he supposed to handle this situation, again?

Sighing, Kaito swept a hand through his hair to pull it from his eyes. "I just didn't – like it, I guess. People looking at you like that. I mean, it was certainly shocking to see Toyama-chan and Hattori both looking at you all differently, and then there was Mouri-chan –"

"Wait, wait, wait," Shinichi interjected. "Are you saying that _Kazuha-chan _and _Hattori _were _both _looking at me like – like, you know…?"

"I don't know, I got the feeling."

"They're a couple, you know."

"I _know_, but still."

"And _Ran_? Ran's _married_."

"Affairs happen, Shinichi."

Stuck speechless, Shinichi just shook his head at Kaito, whose expression was growing tighter and tighter as time progressed. "I – can't believe you."

"Sorry for being possessive," Kaito grumbled, turning away. "Sorry for not wanting people to look at you when you're supposed to be mine."

"You…" Shinichi couldn't stop staring as Kaito downturned his face, looking everywhere but at Shinichi. "You're ridiculous."

Kaito's head shot up at that, and he scowled darkly, but before he could give an angry retort, Shinichi went on, "Don't you know I feel the exact same way about you?"

"…What?"

Shinichi massaged his temples. "I… I know it's stupid. But you're the Kaitou Kid, you know? You've got hordes of fangirls who stalk your every move, and a hell of a lot of fan_boys_ as well, for that matter. They're all after you, you know, and… and it's not as if I _like _hearing them talk about how great you look and seeing them watch you with stars in their eyes. I just…" He breathed out, long and hard. "It's not easy for me, either, is what I'm saying."

The look on Kaito's face was nothing short of wondering. "I… didn't know that."

"Yep, I bet you didn't." Shinichi sighed, covering his face. "I'm so embarrassing."

"I feel the same way," Kaito countered, making Shinichi bare his face to look at him. Something sparkled, and Shinichi realized it was Kaito's eyes. "So we're even here."

"Good." Shinichi smiled as Kaito crossed the room to dust a kiss across his lips, a light, warm something that ignited his blood and sent him reeling. He pressed a slightly more substantial kiss to Kaito's mouth – the magician hummed softly – before pulling back, smiling. "Now can you tell me where my suit is?"

"Uh…" Kaito paused – a dangerous pause that promised fifteen kinds of destruction – and ice descended into the pit of Shinichi's stomach once more. "Well, you see, I…"

"What did you do?" Shinichi was very, very scared now.

"I, er… I put it in the oven."

As if on cue, the smoke detector went off and the sprinkler system activated, drenching the two of them. As well as all of Shinichi's clothes, which were still lying on the bed.

"…Kaito."

"Yes?"

"I despise you."

**- omake – **

Takagi was more than a little confused when Kudou Shinichi walked into the interview, completely soaked and wearing normal clothes.

He set down his papers to gape at him, as did the other officers on the panel. "Ah, Kudou-kun? What exactly happened to you?"

Shinichi turned dead eyes on him. "Kaito," was all he said, and Takagi nodded understandingly, relaxing back into his seat beside Satou.

Eyeing Shinichi as Inspector Megure began to ask him questions, Satou leaned over. "The rest of Kudou-kun's life is going to be very interesting from now on, don't you think?"

"Huh?" Takagi watched as Shinichi shook out his hair, sending water droplets everywhere. "Why?"

Satou sent him a bemused stare. "Because he's going to be with Kuroba-kun," she answered as if it was obvious, and Takagi glanced at Shinichi once more time. Despite the fact that he was sopping wet and obviously not the most comfortable, he was still smiling just the slightest bit, as if somehow, he was at peace with himself…

…as if he were _happy_, despite it all.

"I know what you mean," Takagi murmured back to Satou before settling back into his own chair and flipping to his copy of interview questions.

* * *

**Yeeeeeah. I have no excuse.**

**Well, uh, happy birthday, Kaito...?**

**Anyway, if you enjoyed this, please drop me a review! Until we meet again, my darlings! - Luna**


End file.
